It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize