Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
