..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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