I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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