Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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