4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
