all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
