Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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