He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
