I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
