totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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