if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
