So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
