please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
