Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
