Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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