I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
