I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
