So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
