I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm always down for nudity.
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