corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
