PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
