There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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