Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
