Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I would ride that face into the sunset
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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