Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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