Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize