She said her name was "party"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
