why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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