all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
