She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
