We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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