i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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