I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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