Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
