There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
