the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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