he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize