He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
