Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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