I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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