I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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