once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
