dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
