hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
