What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
