trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
