I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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