If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
