I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
