The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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