Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
A+ Viking dick
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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