There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
