This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
