im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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