good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
