she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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