If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
two words...techno handjob
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
