If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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