I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
