i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Vodka?
Forever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
