Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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