Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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