I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
