Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
People in love make me want to vomit
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
