My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
