It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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