I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
