she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
