I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
