Its about making memories worth repressing
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
