i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
