we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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