we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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