Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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