I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
