it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
