You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
