Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
