And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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