week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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