Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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