i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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