I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He shit in the fireplace
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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