He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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