I got chris browned last night
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
