A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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